I have brainstorms. In the middle of the night. Like my eyes pop open with “omg! I could totally______!!! Fill in that blank with an idea. This particular brainstorm involved greenery. And flocking. For a few years now I’ve wanted to add flocked greenery to my Christmas decor, like about a million other people. Flocking is back, in a big way. But I have boxes and boxes of greenery. Lovely fake, totally green, plastic greenery. Some of it has been with me since my wedding 21 years ago. Did I mention it’s fake and plastic? It doesn’t die. It does shed a bit however. I’m thinking 21 years for fake greenery is the equivalent of 100 in human years. And I’m betting if I live to be 100 I’ll be shedding a bit too.  But on with my brainstorm. As you’ve figured out by now, I’m cheap, I’ve mentioned in a few times. Why should I spring for new, lovely flocked greens if I can upcycle some of my current pieces? Hence, the brainstorm. I’ve tried the canned spray snow. Ick. I’ve also tried paint, just dipping my brush in white paint, wiping most of it off and dabbing the greenery. Uh, nope. Didn’t like it. Soooo, the brainstorm.  Drywall mud!!!! Tada!! That’s it! It comes in a spray! It’s white, it’s kinda thick and it clumps! Oh boy, couldn’t wait til morning to give it a try.

Morning comes and I’m in the garage, covering the floor with sheets and draping my old garland over my work table. I had a can of spray drywall mud for patching and matching the texture on our walls so this was gonna be a cheap and easy project. My absolute favorite kind.  I practiced my spray technique on a piece of cardboard and was good to go. Just to be safe, I sprayed a small piece of greenery first. Just a dusting. It looked Great!!! So I proceeded as planned with the garland. It looked so good. Happy dance! I left it in the garage for a few hours to dry. And then the decorating began. Now this garland is very important to me. Each year I drape the living room sliding door and the dining room window with garland and hang stars and snowflakes from it. Dressing those windows for Christmas is my favorite thing to do and I look forward to it. It signals the start of the holiday season at my house. I wanted that garland lightly flocked so it would look better with the flocked tree I  purchased last year.

Let me tell you, I draped and then began to cough and sneeze and my eyes were burning from all the drywall dust! The mud didn’t stick!!! WHAT??!! That stuff sticks to everything! Nope, apparently not fake christmas greenery. By the time I got the garland draped around the curtain rod most of the mud was on the floor. And in my hair. And nose. And on the sofa. And Oscar’s black coat was now gray. EPIC FAIL!! I spent a couple of hours sweeping, dusting (saying bad words, many bad words), and mopping and then very carefully hung my stars and called it a day. I’m leaving it as is until after the holidays. There are a few specks of drywall mud left on it for the holiday effect. uh huh.

I did, however, keep my practice piece. It’s draped around a frame on a table. It looks lovely.  Mr. B is forbidden to touch it. Or to breathe on it. We tiptoe past it so as not to stir a breeze. I have yellow caution tape up to protect the area. Guests are allowed to admire it. From a distance. I am not cleaning any more drywall dust. But I have gently flocked greenery on that table.

Yesterday I bought new flocked garland. Sometimes new is just better. This is one of those times. It’s thick  and new and beautiful and is gracing the the dining room window. Best part? It only sheds a little. Very little. The flakes are big, like giant snowflakes. I can live with that. I bought an extra bundle for the living room for next Christmas. I WILL have flocked greenery for Christmas 2017. The can of spray drywall patching mud?  Is in the chemical recycling bin. Where it’s waiting to gather together with some of its closest friends on recycling day. I wish it well.

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