Well, here we are in the first weeks of Fall and my summer hiatus is at an end. Taking the time away from the blog was beneficial, I concentrated on what’s most important in life; my family and friends. I enjoyed junking, cook outs, parties, root beer floats,  sunsets, a few sunrises (not on purpose! Sunrise comes waay too early for this woman), and the pool. A wedding, graduations, and visiting my oldest friend in Indiana.  I saw my favorite vocal band in concert, and buried my son’s ashes with his grandparents.

My middle Granddaughter graduated high school, then she and her bestie came to visit for a few weeks. I was once again, cook, taxi and purveyor of wisdom. Lots of wisdom. My youngest son and DiL came for a quick visit and Mr B and I went to Fort Myers Beach to help a good friend get settled in her new digs. Looking back, it was a good summer, filled with joy, some sadness and the appreciation of family…. made even better by the fact that I won’t have to cook again til next summer. Microwaving counts as cooking, right?  I mean, it does involve making food hot…sooo, let’s just go with that.

The do-over parts came in between, and after. I stripped pieces of previously painted furniture and left them natural. I know!!! What happened to my “paint everything white” mantra?? More on that later…. In the next few posts, I’ll show you what we’ve been up to. I apologize in advance for the really crappy photos. I’m off my game.

Among the do-overs was reading several books that I’d read before but didn’t remember! It started unknowingly with Lisa Gardner. As usual, I went to Goodwill to load up on books, found some by some of my favorite authors, and browsed through the pages quickly to see if I remembered any of the characters. I didn’t, so came home with a large bag loaded with enough books to get me through the summer.

Lisa Unger, Harlan Coben, Julie Garwood, Jodi Picoult, Patricia Cornwall, to name a few. I realized a few pages in the first one by Lisa Gardner that the story line and characters were familiar, but I didn’t really remember all that much….. a key phrase here or there, a vague memory, and a feeling of I should know this….  A couple of books later, I started wondering what the heck was going on, I looked to see the dates of publication and realized they were published at, or around the time of my brain surgery and/or the death of my son. Both times were painful and stressful and filled with emotion.  During the recuperation from surgery  my brain wasn’t storing information….. I have very hazy memories of things we did or places we went or even conversations. ( To Mr B those are hallelujah moments because I don’t remember projects we discussed.) Any memory of books I read or movies watched during that year of recovery slipped away.

When my son was killed, suffice it to say that I have very little memory of things I did, or said, or saw, or read. It was my mind’s way of protecting myself. I was reading to forget… to keep my mind occupied on anything except what had happened. My eyes looked at the pages but my brain was shut down. So reading this summer was interesting, not only to reread books and actually be engaged in the stories, but to realize our mind protects us during times of pain and great sorrow.

On the decorating front, I’m entering a period of discovery. Design and decorating are not stationery, as we grow and change, our tastes may change and things we were absolutely sure we loved and would never change, fall by the wayside as we discover new styles, or just want to refine the style we enjoy now. To that end, I’ve found myself really looking at my house and deciding what really suits it, and asking the question what style am I now…. is farmhouse still me?  Or…. what style better suits a couple with tastes at opposite ends of the design spectrum? It would be all “woods and white” all the time if I lived alone. But I don’t. Nor do I want to. So figuring out how to blend our styles, if there is a way to blend them, and still keep my sense of style identity, has given me many hours of gathering inspiration from Instagram and Pinterest and of course, my ever-present magazines.

I realized that our bedroom wasn’t working, it’s my least favorite room in the house, and it should be the favorite!  It didn’t feel cohesive. Frankly, it looked as though I’d started in one direction then veered off in another. After some deliberation I decided to strip the white paint from our bedside tables (which aren’t tables at all). I know! I know! It wasn’t that long ago that I was going on and on about how much I loved the commode on my side of the bed painted white. Mr B’s small chest has been white for well over 20 years….. But…… something was off.

I’m thinking it was the whole, some pieces are white, some are black thing that was making me crazy. The room looked like it was suffering from multiple decorating personality disorder. Both bedside chests got  do-overs. Stripped down to the natural wood and left naked. And naked they will stay until I decide just what I’m going to do in this room.  They aren’t perfectly finished. There are still bits of paint and gunk. If I decide to keep them natural I’ll do a final sand and remove the gunk, maybe bleach them and then apply wax. I did put a quick coat of furniture wax on the tops, to offer a bit of protection until their final finish is determined. (note the use of the word final, we all know nuthin is final in the sanctuary).

We removed the awful window blinds that were so difficult for me to keep clean, plus they blocked light even when the slats were open, I was sick of them and they had to go. Now I just pull the curtain panels closed at night for privacy. During the day there’s more light which this room badly needs.

Future: I’ll be removing the finish on the tops of the black chests, the finish is too red or too orange…. or too… something, and way too shiny. I plan to sand all that off and get down to the natural wood and just wax. That shiny finish makes the chests look cheap, which they definitely aren’t. If that look still doesn’t play nice in the room then I’ll paint the tops. I may do that anyway, much to Mr B’s dismay, I’ve never been a fan of the natural wood top, painted bottom style, but will wait and see as the other projects are completed…..  New bedding and some sort of treatment on the back wall behind the bed. Not sure, but leaning toward wallpaper. It isn’t permanent. I like that. Mr B likes that he won’t have to do it. Then updating trim and new carpet, perhaps some new lights. Hopefully this will end my angst.

Don’t be afraid to do things over. If something isn’t right, or no longer works, if you’ve made a “mistake” or are “just over it,” change it! There’s not much that a bit of work can’t fix. Paint it, strip it, wax it, bleach it….. or not…. It’s your home. You need to feel as if it meets your emotional, as well as your physical needs. Function is all well and good, we must have a well functioning house, but if it isn’t also comforting, if it doesn’t make you go, “ahh, this is home,” you’ll never feel quite right. And that is the essence of this blog. Feeling right in one’s home.

So create your sanctuary, one room at a time. Create the home you see in your heart. And if that means a summer of do-overs…. so be it.