Crystal

Hi everyone, I hope your holidays  were filled with happiness! Our celebrations were quiet this year, no kiddos to visit, so it was just me and Mr B. We went out for dinner on Christmas Eve… because we’ve entered the elderly portion of our lives. Even with reservations there was an hour and a half wait so back home we went. I can’t even remember what we ate later! I hear short-term memory loss is a hallmark of the elder years…….

2019. I can barely say it without wondering where last year went. 2018 went by like a speeding train. Before I begin with the Word for this new year, I thought I’d take a look back at last year’s Word. Notice the Capitalization of Word…..because choosing a word to guide you through a year makes that word important and deserving of capitalization. I used to think choosing a word was dumb, along with making a new year’s list of resolutions, always broken. I was wrong. Not so much about the resolutions, those are still broken by most people before spring arrives. So I didn’t expect much from choosing one word. So what happened? And while I’m at it…. what happened after I completed my 30 Day Challenge in July of 2017??

Remember my trip to Tennessee in the summer of 2017? When I went a bit crazy and shopped until the car could hold nothing more? All those spur-of-the-moment purchases that I loved in the shops, had to have, and then? Got home and immediately had a bad case of buyer’s remorse over most of it….. why do I bring these things home without really thinking? Why do I feel the NEED to collect? Beats me…. but I knew I needed to stop…. my home is small…. we need to actually live in it and I was tired of spending money on things that I didn’t want after only a few weeks, sometimes only days. Time to admit I may have a problem. So I did a self-imposed 30 day challenge. 30 days of no shopping. I had to go cold turkey, that meant no browsing at my favorite antique stores, no stopping in Target “just to look.” I could purchase groceries and health care items and replace clothing if need be. NOTHING else.

How did I do? And how did it impact my life? Or help me choose a word for 2018 and get me to where I am now?

The first week was brutal, not lying. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wanted desperately to go shopping with my bestie, to stop by my favorite shop and chat with the vendors I have relationships with. I wandered the house. I moved things around. Then it was week 2. I decided to do a mini purge to help jump-start some creativity. I stayed busy. I made a pile of things to sell and donate. Week 3. I was no longer sweaty, had no urge to shop. Watched some movies, finished a couple of books. Relaxed. Week 4. Deep cleaned the house, added to the pile. Mr B took 2 carloads to Goodwill and I recouped some of the money I’d spent on my crazed shopping excursion. 30 days later and my house was clean, there were a  few clear spaces on tables. Eureka!!

Since then, I’ve become much more selective about my purchases. Things still come in but things also go out. I’m thoughtful and intentional about what I buy. Mostly vintage, not much cutesy meaningless decor. Sometimes there is a stinker in the mix, but those are few and far between now. And I’m in the middle of a major clean-out to begin the new year, a whole house purge.

My Word for 2018 was Intentional.   It changed how I live my life. For real. I’ve become more thoughtful about every aspect of my life. Friendships were lost. Friendships were made. Shopping was no longer a time-wasting, money spending event, it became a joyful experience, more for browsing and learning than actual buying. My mindless collecting has stopped. I enjoyed spending time at home and there were days I didn’t leave the house. My savings account grew. I felt peaceful. Mr B’s take? I was now intentionally bringing crap home. (insert eye roll here.) Intentional crap for the win!

Choosing a Word for 2019 became important. I wanted an impactful word, one that would help me navigate the year and give me focus. One deserving of capitalization. After multiple choices were discarded, I ended up with my Word for 2019.

APPRECIATE.

ap•pre•ci•ate

verb. appreciate

1. recognize the full worth of

be grateful for

2. Understand ( a situation) fully; recognize the full implications of.

3. Rise in value ( the house will increase (appreciate) in value.

I want to take the time to appreciate my life, my home, my friends…. to count my many blessings. To not let the things I want make me forget the things I have. To spend time with my friends now, before they are gone, to say I love You ….to let them know I recognize their full worth so that I don’t lose  anyone else without that person knowing he or she was loved by me.

To appreciate that Oscar, my little Heart dog, got to spend another Christmas with us. To make sure the end years of his life are quality and filled with as much love as I can give him, to continue to let Lily know this home is a place of refuge, that no one will ever hurt her again…. To make sure my granddaughters know I recognize their full value and that I will love them unconditionally. To let my kids continue to grow into the amazing humans they are, without unsolicited advice, and let them know I am grateful I have them in my life. I want to remind Mr B how much I appreciate every thing he does for me, to thank him for his patience as I/we continue to create our suburban sanctuary…. to make sure he knows how much I adore him, and that for me, he is the perfect compliment to my soul.  To take nothing for granted. Appreciate. My Word for 2019.

Happy New Year everyone. May it be filled with many blessings.

Well, here we are in the first weeks of Fall and my summer hiatus is at an end. Taking the time away from the blog was beneficial, I concentrated on what’s most important in life; my family and friends. I enjoyed junking, cook outs, parties, root beer floats,  sunsets, a few sunrises (not on purpose! Sunrise comes waay too early for this woman), and the pool. A wedding, graduations, and visiting my oldest friend in Indiana.  I saw my favorite vocal band in concert, and buried my son’s ashes with his grandparents.

My middle Granddaughter graduated high school, then she and her bestie came to visit for a few weeks. I was once again, cook, taxi and purveyor of wisdom. Lots of wisdom. My youngest son and DiL came for a quick visit and Mr B and I went to Fort Myers Beach to help a good friend get settled in her new digs. Looking back, it was a good summer, filled with joy, some sadness and the appreciation of family…. made even better by the fact that I won’t have to cook again til next summer. Microwaving counts as cooking, right?  I mean, it does involve making food hot…sooo, let’s just go with that.

The do-over parts came in between, and after. I stripped pieces of previously painted furniture and left them natural. I know!!! What happened to my “paint everything white” mantra?? More on that later…. In the next few posts, I’ll show you what we’ve been up to. I apologize in advance for the really crappy photos. I’m off my game.

Among the do-overs was reading several books that I’d read before but didn’t remember! It started unknowingly with Lisa Gardner. As usual, I went to Goodwill to load up on books, found some by some of my favorite authors, and browsed through the pages quickly to see if I remembered any of the characters. I didn’t, so came home with a large bag loaded with enough books to get me through the summer.

Lisa Unger, Harlan Coben, Julie Garwood, Jodi Picoult, Patricia Cornwall, to name a few. I realized a few pages in the first one by Lisa Gardner that the story line and characters were familiar, but I didn’t really remember all that much….. a key phrase here or there, a vague memory, and a feeling of I should know this….  A couple of books later, I started wondering what the heck was going on, I looked to see the dates of publication and realized they were published at, or around the time of my brain surgery and/or the death of my son. Both times were painful and stressful and filled with emotion.  During the recuperation from surgery  my brain wasn’t storing information….. I have very hazy memories of things we did or places we went or even conversations. ( To Mr B those are hallelujah moments because I don’t remember projects we discussed.) Any memory of books I read or movies watched during that year of recovery slipped away.

When my son was killed, suffice it to say that I have very little memory of things I did, or said, or saw, or read. It was my mind’s way of protecting myself. I was reading to forget… to keep my mind occupied on anything except what had happened. My eyes looked at the pages but my brain was shut down. So reading this summer was interesting, not only to reread books and actually be engaged in the stories, but to realize our mind protects us during times of pain and great sorrow.

On the decorating front, I’m entering a period of discovery. Design and decorating are not stationery, as we grow and change, our tastes may change and things we were absolutely sure we loved and would never change, fall by the wayside as we discover new styles, or just want to refine the style we enjoy now. To that end, I’ve found myself really looking at my house and deciding what really suits it, and asking the question what style am I now…. is farmhouse still me?  Or…. what style better suits a couple with tastes at opposite ends of the design spectrum? It would be all “woods and white” all the time if I lived alone. But I don’t. Nor do I want to. So figuring out how to blend our styles, if there is a way to blend them, and still keep my sense of style identity, has given me many hours of gathering inspiration from Instagram and Pinterest and of course, my ever-present magazines.

I realized that our bedroom wasn’t working, it’s my least favorite room in the house, and it should be the favorite!  It didn’t feel cohesive. Frankly, it looked as though I’d started in one direction then veered off in another. After some deliberation I decided to strip the white paint from our bedside tables (which aren’t tables at all). I know! I know! It wasn’t that long ago that I was going on and on about how much I loved the commode on my side of the bed painted white. Mr B’s small chest has been white for well over 20 years….. But…… something was off.

I’m thinking it was the whole, some pieces are white, some are black thing that was making me crazy. The room looked like it was suffering from multiple decorating personality disorder. Both bedside chests got  do-overs. Stripped down to the natural wood and left naked. And naked they will stay until I decide just what I’m going to do in this room.  They aren’t perfectly finished. There are still bits of paint and gunk. If I decide to keep them natural I’ll do a final sand and remove the gunk, maybe bleach them and then apply wax. I did put a quick coat of furniture wax on the tops, to offer a bit of protection until their final finish is determined. (note the use of the word final, we all know nuthin is final in the sanctuary).

We removed the awful window blinds that were so difficult for me to keep clean, plus they blocked light even when the slats were open, I was sick of them and they had to go. Now I just pull the curtain panels closed at night for privacy. During the day there’s more light which this room badly needs.

Future: I’ll be removing the finish on the tops of the black chests, the finish is too red or too orange…. or too… something, and way too shiny. I plan to sand all that off and get down to the natural wood and just wax. That shiny finish makes the chests look cheap, which they definitely aren’t. If that look still doesn’t play nice in the room then I’ll paint the tops. I may do that anyway, much to Mr B’s dismay, I’ve never been a fan of the natural wood top, painted bottom style, but will wait and see as the other projects are completed…..  New bedding and some sort of treatment on the back wall behind the bed. Not sure, but leaning toward wallpaper. It isn’t permanent. I like that. Mr B likes that he won’t have to do it. Then updating trim and new carpet, perhaps some new lights. Hopefully this will end my angst.

Don’t be afraid to do things over. If something isn’t right, or no longer works, if you’ve made a “mistake” or are “just over it,” change it! There’s not much that a bit of work can’t fix. Paint it, strip it, wax it, bleach it….. or not…. It’s your home. You need to feel as if it meets your emotional, as well as your physical needs. Function is all well and good, we must have a well functioning house, but if it isn’t also comforting, if it doesn’t make you go, “ahh, this is home,” you’ll never feel quite right. And that is the essence of this blog. Feeling right in one’s home.

So create your sanctuary, one room at a time. Create the home you see in your heart. And if that means a summer of do-overs…. so be it.

HEY Y’ALL!

Thank you for stopping by. This post was going to be all about what has changed here in my sanctuary since Irma hit Florida one year ago. But with Hurricane Florence headed for the Carolinas and the threat of other storms in the Gulf becoming stronger, I thought it would be good to recap the posts I did in preparation for Irma…. in the event I could help someone else.

Before I get to those recaps, here’s a quick update to the changes we made in the event of future storms: We had new windows installed on the most vulnerable sides of the house, the large bank of windows at the back of the house, the dining room window in front, and Mr B’s office window, also at the front of the house. We purchased a wind baffle system for our lanai, it’s supposed to block some of the wind and rain and prevent wind-driven debris from hitting the sliding glass doors. Keeping our fingers crossed we never have to find out how well this works.

I am so glad we made the decision to have those new “wind resistant” windows installed at the back of the house. Our biggest worry last year was those windows failing. Turns out we were right to worry.  When the installers of the new windows removed the old ones, we found that they were held in place by caulk and ONE screw! No wonder they rattled and vibrated in the smallest of storms! Egad!!! We’re waiting for the new windows to be inspected and approved so that I can finish painting the exterior stucco that was repaired after the installation. And I wonder how those old windows ever got approved by an inspector when this house was built!

We’ve had an uneventful hurricane season so far, but September begins the active storm time, that time of the year when major storms are most likely to form. And form they have!  Florence is gaining strength and headed for the United States, and all in her path are busy making preparations. At least I hope they are. These storms are not to be ignored. I’m saying prayers for all in her path and just hope that Florence weakens as she comes on shore.

If you’ve ever wondered how you would  prepare to evacuate, what you would put in your “one bag”…. these posts from a year ago will give you a glimpse into life in the path of a large storm. What do I save? That’s a question each of us has to answer for ourselves…. and will depend on the kind of evacuation and amount of time available. I made some hard choices as we prepared for a storm that was wider than our entire state. There wasn’t a county that was not affected by Irma. You can read those posts here, and here and here.  They’re in order so you can read about the choices and the aftermath. 

I hope to never have another hurricane hit anywhere. Foolish I know, because hurricanes have been around since the earth was born. Still…… I hope.

Thanks for stopping by, may all your storms be small ones. If you are in the path of Florence, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Create your sanctuary no matter where you live.

photo courtesy Google